7 signs that your partner is suffering from borderline personality disorder

Do you feel you are always walking on eggshells in your relationship and living with a partner who is as loving as they are emotionally abusive? If you often feel unsure about how your partner will react to a situation and fear getting scarred with their behaviour, it may not be entirely their fault and they could be suffering from borderline personality disorder. Borderline personality disorder, as per mayoclinic is a mental health disorder that impacts the way one thinks and feel about themselves and others, and this can cause problem in daily functioning. People suffering from the disorder may face self-image issues, difficulty managing emotions and behaviour, and face a pattern of unstable relationships. (Also read | What is more than bare minimum in a relationship?)

When mental health conditions like borderline personality disorder (BPD) enter intimate spaces, they can strain even the strongest foundations(Freepik)

“When mental health conditions like borderline personality disorder (BPD) enter intimate spaces, they can strain even the strongest foundations. Yet with compassion and education, relationships touched by BPD’s uniquely disruptive grasp can be fortified through the tempest. Manifesting as emotional volatility, distorted self-perception and see-sawing moods, BPD makes maintaining stability and selfhood tenuous for sufferers. Partners must balance supporting their beloved’s well-being alongside safeguarding their own. This requires recognizing BPD’s symptoms not as manipulations but desperate attempts at regulation when internal worlds grow overwhelmingly disordered,” says Dr Chandni Tugnait is M.D. (Alternative Medicines), Psychotherapist, Life Coach, Business Coach, NLP Expert, Healer, Founder & Director – Gateway of Healing.

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“Cultivating insight into these psychological undercurrents helps ground responses in care instead of judgment when painful dynamics surface. Through open communication, couples create space for needs, reconciling limitations with good faith and patience. With remorse on both sides, ruptures can be repaired. While the challenges cannot be understated, hope lies in increasing awareness dismantling stigma surrounding BPD. As experts refine therapeutic models and public familiarity expands, those touched by its tumultuous grip can learn to weather periods of dysregulation together, emerging with intimacy reinforced. With diligence and loving support, even the most taxing diagnoses need not define any relationship’s forecast,” says Dr Chandni.

Partners of people with BPD face distinct obstacles as a result of the disorder’s emotional volatility and impulsivity. Understanding these issues is critical for sustaining a healthy and supportive partnership.

7 critical signs that your partner may have BPD

1. Emotional upheaval: Individuals suffering from BPD frequently experience strong and quick mood fluctuations. Everything may appear to be great one minute and then become overwhelmed with grief or fury the next. These erratic emotional fluctuations can leave others perplexed and uncertain.

2. Abandonment fear: A chronic fear of abandonment characterizes BPD. Your partner may exhibit clingy behaviour, require frequent reassurance, or respond violently to perceived fears of abandonment. This anxiety can have a significant impact on the dynamics of your relationship.

3. Identity issues: People suffering from BPD frequently struggle to maintain a constant sense of self. As a result, goals, values, and even professional choices may change often. Such identity disturbances can make it challenging to comprehend and connect with your partner on a deeper level.

4. Risky and impulsive behaviour: Individuals with BPD are prone to engaging in impulsive and risky behaviours such as substance addiction or reckless driving. This conduct can be upsetting for partners and might put a strain on the relationship’s stability.

5. Uncertain relationships: Those suffering from BPD may find it challenging to maintain stable, long-term relationships. Partners are frequently trapped in a cycle of extreme closeness and emotional distancing.

6. Self-destructive behaviours: People with BPD may engage in self-destructive actions as a coping method for emotional suffering. This could emerge as self-harm or suicidal thoughts. Supporting a partner through these difficulties is emotionally taxing and takes careful thought.

7. Manipulative tendencies: Partners may observe manipulative actions such as attempts to control or guilt-trip. Individuals with BPD may struggle to regulate their emotions, which can lead to manipulative tendencies as they seek stability in their relationships.

“It is critical to address the situation with caution and sensitivity and comprehend the complexities involved. If you suspect your partner has BPD, encourage open communication, and propose that you both seek professional therapy. This proactive approach not only creates a supportive environment but also builds the groundwork for both partners to handle the problems of BPD, encouraging mutual understanding and resilience in the relationship,” concludes Dr Chandni.

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